Traditionally associated primarily with students taking time off between high school and university, the concept of a gap year is now expanding to encompass those of us in midlife interested in taking a thoughtful and meaningful break to seek out fresh perspectives and a renewed sense of purpose.
If you, like me, have been considering taking some thoughtful time away, I wrote this for you (ok, and me).
Why a Midlife Gap Year Appeals to Me
As I approached my 50th birthday and my empty nesting phase of life, I found myself thinking, even more than usual, on my life's journey and the many crossroads and challenging transitions that lie ahead in my 50s and beyond.
As I reflected, it occurred to me that the idea of taking a break from work and "regular life", an adult gap so-to-speak, has actually crossed my mind a few times during pivotal moments in my life.
I think the first time was when I was at the "too late to turn back now" phase of my Clinical Psychology Ph.D. program and woke up one day to realize that, perhaps, I hadn't entirely "thought this thing through".
I hadn't taken any time to stop, look around and think about my future.
Instead, I had decided literally in 7th grade that I wanted to be a Clinical Psychologist, and being the intensely, internally goal driven Enneagram 8 (with a 7 wing - for my Enneagram loving friends out there) that I am, set my sights on that goal and never looked back.
But - I wish I had looked back.
Not that I would have necessarily entirely changed the course of my life...
But - maybe I would have.
At the very least, I wish I would have gotten out of my small town and explored the world and my options more before putting on those blinders and plowing full steam ahead.
What is a Midlife Gap Year?
What a gap year over 50 is not
Let's back up and define what a midlife gap year actually is...by clearing up a misconception about what it's not.
An adult gap year is not necessarily a year. (Woah, right?)
I think it's a reasonable argument that to be considered a real midlife "gap year", the time needs to either be very carefully and thoughtfully planned out, or last a minimum of three weeks to allow for a genuine shift out of vacation mode.
Beyond this, the amount of time you dedicate to this endeavor is completely up to you based on the time you can make available to yourself and your personal goals.
Three months, six months and even longer than a year are the most common midlife gap year lengths.
Although, some people plan for a few months and then turn their midlife gap year into a permanent, new lifestyle...
So, then what IS a gap year for adults?
Simply put, a midlife gap year is a planned break from our usual routine. I like to think about it as "white space".
It's a period of time that we set aside to intentionally explore new experiences, learn new skills, or simply decompress and spend some time observing and evaluating our lives.
For some, a gap year over 50 involves traveling with a sense of purpose; for others, it's about staying home and diving deeper into personal projects or volunteering for causes they care about.
The beauty of a midlife gap year is its flexibility; it can be whatever you need it to be.
Why is Midlife the Perfect Time for a Gap Year?
If you're like me and lamenting the missed opportunity of your late adolescent gap year, take heart.
Midlife is actually the PERFECT time for a gap year.
In midlife, we often find ourselves at a pivotal moment. We've spent decades building careers and families. While fulfilling, this often leaves little room for self-reflection or the pursuit of passions placed on hold.
An adult gap year offers the opportunity to pause, recharge, reconsider, and realign our lives with who we really are - and who we want to become. It's a way to slow down time and make life more interesting.
We have the wisdom gained from many years already lived and, yet, many years still left to live.
I love the term "Middlescence", popularized by gerontologist and author Barbara Waxman.
Waxman describes Middlescence as "a second adolescence but with wisdom," when individuals experience changes similar to adolescence, such as hormonal shifts and a reevaluation of life choices, but with the added benefit of life experience and wisdom.
Much like in adolescence, in middlescence, we have a unique opportunity to reassess our lives, embrace new opportunities, and live according to our own terms rather than worrying so much about societal expectations.
One of my favorite thought leaders in the midlife space is Chip Conley, the author of several exceptional books and the founder of the Modern Elder Academy (MEA). This "midlife wisdom school" was Chip's response to the reality that whereas we have countless institutions to guide children into adulthood, there are none dedicated to supporting us through the equally, if not more, significant transitions we encounter in midlife.
In an intriguing episode of Debbie Weil's delightful podcast, B}old Age (formerly known as Gap Year for Grown-ups), Chip revealed that the original name for MEA was the "Modern Elder Gap Year Academy." The concept was designed as a place where individuals could come together to conceptualize, plan or even embark upon their midlife gap year journey.
On a different episode of Debbie's podcast, Seth Godin, in talking about taking breaks in life, such as gap years, likened this experience to enrolling in a journey of deciding to become somebody else. To "use this moment to engage in other activities that transform me into someone I can be even more friendly with".
So, you see, some very smart people are endorsing the concept of a midlife gap year.
Why not you?
8 Benefits of a Midlife Gap Year
Over the past six months, I have thoroughly explored the idea of a midlife gap year. Here are the top eight benefits that people who have had this experience frequently discuss:
Reflect and reset: Use your adult gap year as a time for introspection. As mentioned above, this is an ideal time to create white space in your life, begin to observe your existing patterns (harder than it sounds), evaluate and make changes where needed to better align your life with your true values and goals.
Reignite creativity and passions. Rediscover what truly excites you by taking a break from the daily grind.
Learn continuously and cultivate wisdom. An adult gap year is an ideal time to adopt a growth mindset, and take up new skills and interesting hobbies that keep your mind sharp and engaged. You can also intentionally expand your life experiences by exploring new paths and sharing insights with others.
Stay flexible and embrace change. The abilities to remain cognitively flexible and embrace change are key components of staying young at heart. A gap year for those over 50 offers the perfect opportunity to rewire and find new directions for your life.
Deepen relationships. Use your midlife gap year to invest time in nurturing meaningful connections with your family and friends. (Or make new friends!)
Enhance well-being. Use this time away from work and regular routines to begin to better prioritize your health and wellness, both physically and mentally.
Explore new cultures. Many people taking an adult gap year choose to use "slow travel" as a way to immerse themselves in diverse environments to broaden their perspectives.
Contribute meaningfully. For some, the space provided by a gap year in midlife can be used to move beyond the self and into "how can I serve others"? Many people at this stage of life begin to seriously consider their legacy and find ways to engage in projects that allow them to give back to others and make a positive difference.
5 Challenges of a Midlife Gap Year
Ok, so this gap year for grown-ups sounds great! Why doesn't everyone do it?
Next up, we have the list of the most common fears - or self-limiting beliefs - I've heard people give for not taking a midlife gap year:
Financial worries. Whereas this list of challenges is not ranked in any particular order, anxiety about financial stability is undoubtedly the most common concern for those contemplating a midlife gap year.
However, a well-planned midlife sabbatical can be surprisingly affordable - there are many creative ways to make it work at any income level. In fact, planning for and experiencing a gap year can even enhance your financial acumen, perhaps making you realize that you need less than you think. This realization can significantly improve your money scarcity mindset and contribute positively to your financial health and well-being throughout the rest of your life.
Fear of the unknown and uncertainty of purpose. The unknowns of an adult gap year can be significant and daunting, with nearly unlimited options for how to spend this time. Many of us encounter fears about our ability to embark on such a journey and worry about making the "wrong" decisions.
While assessing our core personal values and considering our goals is crucial, we must ultimately decide that there are no wrong ways to do it, take a leap of faith and see where it leads us. Uncharted territories are where profound self-discoveries happen.
The path to making the unknown known is simply to get started! We are afraid because we don't know how it will turn out. But the fact is, we don’t know how life will turn out anyway.
Career implications. For those of us whose identities are tied to our careers, concerns about how a midlife gap year might impact our career progression can be paralyzing. We need to remind ourselves that the skills and perspectives gained during this gap year over 50 will enhance our value and innovation upon our return. We must believe in and trust ourselves that this time away will be worth it, and that we'll use it to come out ahead as a result.
Responsibility guilt. Feeling guilty for (or worrying about being judged for), stepping away from responsibilities during an adult gap year in midlife is also common. It's amazing though what open communication and solid planning can do to ensure that your gap year strengthens your relationships. And, midlife is the perfect time to decide to care less about others' opinions.
Health concerns and risk aversion. For many, a midlife gap year raises significant concerns about healthcare access and personal safety, as stepping away from familiar cultures, routines and facing potential emergencies abroad can be daunting. The reality is, however, that most countries provide very robust healthcare and prioritize safety, with low crime rates and welcoming citizens.
When Is the Perfect Time for a Midlife Gap Year?
Despite the misleading title, there simply is no, one-size-fits-all "ideal" moment to take a gap year for adults.
My current plan is to make the most of my early empty-nesting years while my parents are still in good health and before grandchildren enter the picture.
The punctuation is correct, but the sentence could be smoother. Here's a revised version:
However, the future is unpredictable, so who knows what will actually happen?
Through my "research" and conversations with others, once thing I've learned for sure is that there will never be a perfect moment. Midlife is filled with significant and unavoidable transitions, each arriving at different times for everyone. Many of these changes will catch us off guard, happening suddenly and unexpectedly.
My advice for you?
Reflect on your life circumstances and choose the best time for you...or at least the least bad option.
But DO CHOOSE.
If you wait for perfect, you'll never do it. You'll be stuck wondering "what if".
And what fun would that be?
About the Author
I'm Dr. Angela Caveney. I'm a Clinical Psychologist, Neuropsychologist and the Founder of The Trybe Women's Social Club.
As a Clinical Psychologist, I teach people how to make friends and deepen their relationships. I often semi-seriously refer to myself as a professional friendship matchmaker and mentor.
As the leader of The Trybe, I've become an expert at planning activities and events that bring people together in community.
As the author of the Midlife Reimagined Blog, I also write about other popular midlife topics such as finding your personal core values, empty nesting, reinventing yourself and finding purpose.
I can be reached directly at angela@the-trybe.com.
Opmerkingen